“I” = E (ego) + T (time) - “I” think, therefore “I” am...but are you more than what you think?
The ego projects itself into the past and future, that is where the ego lives, in another imagined time, NOT in this present moment. When we are truly in the now, when we are truly present and not lost in the past or the future, is that our true self? We are not the projected thoughts, or the imagined scenarios, or the regretted past of the ego. Those thoughts, projections and imaginings are judgments, prejudices and anxieties about thoughts on the past and thoughts on the future. They do not exist in the present moment outside of the egoic mind.
To truly be in the now is a liberating, spiritual experience. No judging, judging is a comparison against what is a remembered past or projected, imagined future. No sorrow, sorrow is a regret from judgments on the past or feeling inadequate in the present because of a projected, imagined future that possibly feels unattainable. No anxiety, anxiety is the fear of a projected, imagined future that is undesirable or feared. Judging, sorrow and anxiety are stories the ego tells us, but these stories do not exist outside of the ego's imaginings of them.
As we're trying to learn how to live with less “I” in our lives, we must ask ourselves:
How can we be more aware of how we project our "self"? If I am not my “I”, if my true self is not the egoic mind's projected imaginings, then what am I?”
I've discovered some important questions to ask myself lately:
Who is the “I” you project as yourself to yourself? Is that who you truly are? Or are your creating a duality of selves? What is your ego projecting of yourself (your “I”) to others? Is that the person you truly are? Or are you creating a duality of selves? Is this projection of “I” who you truly feel that you wholly are? If you are not your projection of “I” then who are you?
Awareness and intuition. In trying to answer these questions, the best answer I've come up with is that what I truly am, before the ego, is awareness and intuition. What do you think? What would your answer be?
I try to learn to live each moment with a sense of “being”, not projecting and imagining, try to recognize the ego when it comes into the equation...or becomes the equation: (E + T) < B (being). Just be what you are, the awareness and the intuition. Give yourself permission to let go of the past and the future, and just be happy right now. And if you figure out how to stay in that awareness, please tell me!
An exercise:
Close your eyes. (...after reading this fully.) Bring yourself into the present moment. Experience what is really happening right now, in this moment, not the past or the future. Feel the awareness of your body. Feel the cycle of your breathing expanding and contracting like an inner universe, a universe within you but equal to the outer universe in scale and mass. Feel the air on your skin and feel how that air carries a sense of deeper connection between these two universes. Feel the sound (and light) vibrations coming towards you, carrying and forming the depth in the external world. Feel the connection to a greater energy that is beyond those external senses connecting you to the inner universe. Feel how you are the center point of a deeper connection between these two universes on an infinite spiral of universes, both above and below. See how the the separation of the inner and outer universe, the above and below, is only imagined due to the focal point of the ego, the “I". See how these universes are really just one infinite universe forming itself as a never ending spiral. Catch any thoughts or judgments about these feelings and connections that arise, don't act on these thoughts and don't judge these thoughts, just observe them. Realize that these thoughts about the universe are not the universe itself. See the separation between the thoughts about the universe and the awareness of the universe, and realize that you are now observing the observer.
Now think of the double slit experiment in quantum physics...
Another exercise:
Think about someone. What are you thinking about? Memories of that person? Or a mental image of the appearance of that person? Realize that those thoughts are not that person. Those thoughts are your ego's expression of that person...or rather, your ego's judgments on the “I” that that person's ego is projecting. Instead of thinking of this person in terms of memories and imaginings, intuitively feel the energy of this person, not the form and shape of their body, but see this person as they would be in the true present moment, not in your projected and imagined thoughts of their projected and imagined thoughts, but see them as they truly are. Become aware of this person as energetic light, see that it is light that lies at the core of their being. “The light in me sees the light in you.” <3